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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Specialising in Impossibilities

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the spirit that indwells
the unspoken power that heals
O Lord why havent we been able
to walk with greater assurance?

like Peter who walked on water
to see your power here on earth
Perform your miracles

Let the spirit that indwells
do a greater work inside
so that we too can
turn water into wine
heal the sick
let the blind see
the lame walk
set the captives free
so your word says

Heal the sick
the blind see
the lame walk
set the captives free
In Je-sus name
In Je-sus mighty na-me!

set our hearts on fire
Revive our faith
Use us as a vessel
so that we reveal Jesus

Set our eyes on you
so that we forget ourselves
we turn to you
say YES to your every ways

Open our ears
so they may be quick to obey
respond to your word
we may shout like you did "stand up and walk!"

People of God
Arise, Arise
we serve a God of possibilities!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Displaced affections

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Picture by:Richard OostLocationUrk, Flevoland, Netherlands

Have you ever found yourself loving something that you shouldn’t?

There are so many things in the world vying for our attention.
Sometimes these affections were a result of our carelessness, we were too unattentive, or too distracted and we stumble.

Other times however, it creeps up as innocently as a pup to its mother, just when we were trying to well, mind our own business and trying to be a good citizen.

And the holy spirit will warn us to stay away. And as Christians, we know the voice of the holy spirit but try as we might, there is no one way to overcome it at once. And we strive to obey and follow day after day, only to be faced with the same situations week after week. And you wonder when God will remove that which displeases him. The power of God never fails. He sends his ministering angels, and puts us in situation so that we can encounter help.

The first time I heard this song, I was facing many big issues in life. Yet I did not run away because I knew God had lead me to this mountain to conquer it. But time and again, I simply could not and discouragement set in. So I decided to seek comfort in the Lord and started crying in him. As I did, David, my husband picked me up from my bedroom and started dancing to this song with me. I was loving the time of sadness but Jesus didn’t let me wallow. When I heard the words “Arise” I burst out into tears again. I felt the power of God’s love speaking through the song. I experienced the possibility of overcoming what I was facing. Arise was the promise of victory and I experienced the freedom that came with it.

After that day, the situation still remained but I sensed a difference in the way I responded. It was not over, but there was improvement. There is no one formula how Jesus does his work in us. Sometimes he allows us to cry in him and through that, heals us. Sometimes he just wants us to press in to see Victory. Over a period a time, I faced the same issue and again the same song spoke to me. However, I saw something so different this time. You know, whatever displaced affections we have in our heart, there is nothing that can replace our love for God, simply because he takes the highest place of our heart. He is above all things and all else and that makes all affections in life so small compared to our love for him! So as we worship him and pour out all our love & affection for him, and as we enthrone him in our praise, he will fill our lives!

And the miracle is that there will be no room left for displaced affections.

What a wonderful God he is and indeed “Arise King of Kings, we lift you up on our praises!!!”

ARISE - Paul Baloche, Don Moen

VERSE: One thing we ask of you
One thing that we desire
That as we worship you Lord
come and fill our lives Arise, Arise, Arise, Arise

CHORUS: Arise, take your place
Be enthroned on our praise Arise,
king of kings Holy God as we sing Arise Arise

to listen to excerpts of this song:

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Project Worship - Radical

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[Attended a worship retreat blessed by Amina last Sat at her church]

I chickened out when I read the programme but when the teams were formed, everyone felt I should just go ahead and have a blast. I agreed, but was perspiring inside.
Somebody should notice I was a mess. Team dynamics & song writing was the title of the workshop. There were about 7 persons in each team. It looked like a conspiracy when everyone played some kind of instruments except keyboard. And when we were finally through with our introductions, we discovered a young & talented keyboard teacher amongst us. He decided graciously give up his seat to me. I thought God had forsaken me! Even so I had repeated umpteen times that I have never played in the band nor know how to, my pleas turned to deaf ears.

God has his way of turning things upside down, so that Sat afternoon, I decided to just jump in and lap it all up. As crazy as it might sounds, I thought to myself, what the heck, let my hair down and learn to have fun! (I was making having fun so serious.)

To say the least, I was unfamiliar with the entire team, the setting, the works! I was totally unqualified to play in the band. I could not even begin to imagine what the rest of the workshop will be like! It's like having a right-hander brush his teeth with the left hand or like walking along the streets of Russia , not understanding what all the conversations were about. It was the unfamiliar that reveals our insecurity and fear. It was the familiar that masquerade our source of trust. Humbled with reckless abandonment, I took God's hand. Like a little kid trying to cross a bridge suspended on ropes, I started with cautious tiny steps and then break into a run. I felt the wind against my face, it spelled F-R-E-E-D-O-M.

Why God in all these? Jesus put something permanent in place of what familiarity cannot give.
Familiarity cannot access wisdom. Familiarity breeds complacency. He replaced self-dependency with humility. He replaced years of self-achievement with Grace - a gift no one can earn. Talk to familiarity and you get the same old story over and over. Familiarity shuts out the holy spirit as he moves like wind. The world needs something Familiarity cannot give.

I had tremendous fun playing two songs. The synergy was awesome. A 1-yr old christian man in his fifities led the worship. It was probably his first time. I was so proud of him. He led with such gusto! I am quite sure he felt the wind against his face too.

Everyone deserves a miracle. This, familiarity cannot give.

Project Worship

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Butterscotch & Cream

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We’ve never done this before although David had his share of creating an ‘art form’ the last time he tried painting his pastor’s house and spilled a can of paint on the living room carpet!

Looking at the blank slab of wall, it suddenly looked daunting.

We studied the instructions diligently and bought all the accessories. All set and ready to go, the first paint was meticulously dabbed on. It was cream colour and smelled like vanilla.

It took us half an hour to get the first stripe measured, painted, taped and untaped. We were barely on our second stripe when both of us thought this was crazy. We didn’t think we were the few fortunate people with excess time on hands enough to want to kill it.

I could almost sense David’s silent message. He being the one better at estimation of time and calculations had a bad feeling that this will last longer than it should. Needless to say, the overly-optimistic me thought we could still do it just under 4 hours. I urged him on. I proposed we stop at one panel only if a) it looked awful b) we cannot go on anymore for whatever reasons. He agreed.

4 hours past, we finished just 1 panel out of the three. Opps! even though I had so gravely underestimated the time taken to complete, it was now David's turn to be perky. “Wow… so nice man! Let’s finish all three panels!” So that kicked off a new-found enthusiasm and we enjoyed painting to no end, feeling like kids who had just received new toys.

My heart warmed at seeing a new, never been done before project achieved. That is how I like to continue with my service unto the Lord. Both in and out of the workplace, church setting or even when I’m on vacations. The Bible exhort that in all that we do all things as if it was unto God and not unto men. Although Christianity many dubbed an adventure of faith, though daunting, hold rewards that will certainly be as sweet as butterscotch and cream!

In service and in love, Lord help us dare to go all the way!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Blessed out of our socks

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There was filming to be done on Sat and Fri nite after CG was to attend a friend's grandma's wake. I was a little worried for my health having gotten up so early on Friday morning for the Fire Conf, plus a hectic week of co-ordination for the week's outdoor shoot.

Friday nite caregroup was all the way in the East. Thankfully, David & I was blessed by Bernard, our fren at CG who drove to the wake near our place. We got home slightly at mid-nite. When we reached home, I suddenly remembered that we had forgotten twice, to get the hamburger as props for the next morning's shoot! The next morning, we were up for filming at Raffles Place at 8.45am, we gobbled our breakfast on the spot and God provided the hamburger at BK - altho not the actual size.

Filming and lunch ended at 2.30pm. We were at Joo Jiat. By public transport, it will take us 1.5 hours through the jam at Orchard Road all the way to the West. Philip offered to take us to town at first if his wife had not appeared on time. She did, and we got a ride home all the way. We got home at 3.30pm. At 4pm, David napped like a baby. I tried to but wasnt gifted to fall into bed at noon time like him, but I got some rest at least. We had an appointment with some new frens for the Reinhard Boonke service at 5.30pm. We were a little late, but managed to meet them for dinner at 6pm in town. The sermon was a blast and many left inspired. And if this is not what the blessings of God that overflows, I don't know what you call it. Jean, another of our new fren at CG drove us home. It was just quarter past eleven.

David was tired, he had been up since 4.30am everyday for studies, he spends time with God and then off to school at Geylang that starts at 8am. He travels 1hour to get there. My stamina hasn't been good and still pressing in for complete healing. That wk-end, although stretched, I suffered no headache or signs of impending illness. But God showed up more than once on Sat - it was a day when so many from the family of God bless David & I.

No blessing is too small and nothing is too great that is impossible for God to do through us! When family of God come together to bless each other in ways that they can, the Kingdom expands. Praise him!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Love that came down

Love that came down

Lord the day I sing for you
is the I live for you

My heart is filled with longing
My feet is going where you're leading

but Lord what I want most
is to lift you higher

my hands are rising, I want to touch you
my spirit is soaring, I want to be with you

but Lord your grace and love so deep & wonderful
you cause

the cosmic explosion
heavens most divine intervention

your love came down to me
touch my hands
heal my heart

No higher can I leap Lord
No futher I need to reach Lord

(repeat chorus 2X)

RO 10:5 Moses describes in this way the righteousness that is by the law: "The man who does these things will live by them." 6 But the righteousness that is by faith says: "Do not say in your heart, `Who will ascend into heaven?' " (that is, to bring Christ down) 7 "or `Who will descend into the deep?' " (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8 But what does it say? "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart," that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11 As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile--the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Selfish Giant

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Loving musicals since little, I've always wanted another excuse to go watch and experience the wonderful sights and sounds of theatrical performances. Having a child is one. And I am still waiting.

We will be moving into our new place soon, we were watching our budget from renovations down to design. Good budgeting however does not mean that things should look oh-so-shabby or that a riot of colours can reign as they like. We spent quite abit of effort to make sure of that.That day our new neighbour's little boy came over to have a look at our half-done up house. He looked every way like an inquisitive and restless 5 year old, and may I add, has an air of nothing-gets-in-my-way else I will knock-it-down look. I was trying to look fearless, half trying to befriend my new friend and half wishing he would go home quickly! Half obliging a smile, the little boy pounced on my new sofa just when I turned the corner. My heart skipped a beat. Our sofa cushion, made of fabric sat on a strong teak wood looked steady as ever. I glanced over and saw a piece of plastic sheet still intact, it not only protected the pale coloured fabric inside but also my frail heart. I grasp that moment to console myself, but wondered how long that plastic would be there. It really wasn't any solution.

Back in my old house, everything looked worn and familiar. I only started to notice a half-painted pipe the other day in the washroom and it was a sheepish job at that. I wondered why I haven't seen it before having lived there for at least 6 years now. I thought to myself, my old neighbouhood had consist of grown-ups, well mannered professionals, the youngest were teenagers, and you can tell they were a product of good family upbringing. We exchange polite "hi's" and "how's your day" without delving too much into personal space. It looked like a peaceful and harmonious neighbourhood. What a shame, I thought to myself, I would have allowed any kids to come in and pounce around. Pity no kids were around.
Actually, that really wasn't a problem.

"He saw a most wonderful sight. Through a little hole in the wall the children had crept in, and they were sitting in the branches of the trees. In every tree that he could see there was a little child. And the trees were so glad to have the children back again that they had covered themselves with blossoms, and were waving their arms gently above the children's heads. The birds were flying about and twittering with delight, and the flowers were looking up through the green grass and laughing. It was a lovely scene, only in one corner it was still winter."

And so the selfish Giant realise his wintery heart and was no longer selfish . As a result his garden now experiences Spring! And even if the plastic sheet on the sofa sheet were to come off in time and little hand prints are found on them, may it be unto my new family and I that we will always beckon people with welcoming hearts, for all folks big or small, clean or unclean, polite or impolite, and always have an open door to make friends for Christ.

~ The End ~

The Selfish Giant presented by Singapore Repertory Theatre - The Little Company, will be screened from 5-30 Jul 2006 @ DBS Arts Centre - Home of SRT

The Selfish Giant is a beautifully adaptation of the much-loved story by Oscar Wilde.
Famous for his adult plays (The Importance of being Ernest, An Ideal Husband) Oscar Wilde was also a poet, dreamer and above all, a storyteller. Initially written by Wilde for his own children, this enchanting story with songs promises both adult and children a delightful time at the theatre.
In this play, love conquers all and melts the cold heart of an unjust giant, who finally repents after discovering the joy of loving others.
A play for 3 - 8 years old. (and adults!)
Tickets are available at all SISTIC outlets or 63485555.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Your response

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We just had our “Friendship” camp. I was thinking through randomly why making friends is now a challenge. Two things came up strongest. 1) Lack of giving of oneself 2) lack of grace in allowing offences to pass

Rarely would I use the word ‘mistreated’. Instead, I am more familiar however with experiences like hurt, unfair, injustice etc.

I was a witness to an argument that happened on a bus between a middle-aged man and a little boy’s parents. The middle-aged men retaliated to a playful kick by a toddler with an angry stomp on the floor board, missing the boy and the mother’s leg by inches. Words were exchanged, tempers flared and an all out egos war took place. The middle-aged men argued that the parents failing to correct the son was at fault and insulted their lack of parental guidance. The parents kept going on how wrong a grown-up was to retaliate to a mere toddler's kick.

While I watch, I slowly felt a sense of injustice arising. I felt angry to some extend seeing hints of bullying occurring from one side so much I wanted to step forth to protect. You see, God puts in our hearts a sense of right & wrong and as Christians, while it was made for the good of the Kingdom, we sometimes abuse it for our own. Things gets out of control when we assume the God role and fail to play our roles right.

I remembered one of my leaders who because of one of her member’s encounter in an unpleasant situation began screaming at me in public and commanded to see me at another place. I was first shocked at the haughtiness of an attitude and then contempt. All respect for her drained out of me and all I had for her was that she was a fluke. Shortly, in the two weeks that followed, there was peace-making attempts and apologies were exchanged. But I still never really recovered my respect for her.

In another encounter, a leader rained harsh words on me and removed me from a teaching session suddenly. During a peace-making session, threats came. Reeling from the impact of the words made this cut so deep and so seared, I conclude that this is another hypocrite who is all show and no depth.

Another leader picked up an offence and refused for us to join her small group. Ouch! Talk about rejections.

Mistreated? Well it could be a stretch to say that. But hurt, rejected? Yes definitely.
For those married, the pain can be even greater seeing your spouse hurt or rejected yet knowing that you can’t take things into your own hands. He chose not to share the details of his encounter but to go into the bedroom and lay it all out before God. I admire his self-control. Many times I am tempted to try to dig out everything and uncover the ‘culprits’. Despite my natural instinct to stick out for him I was quietly inspired by his strong desire to obey God no matter what it takes. I decided to tag along.

David always has a ready word of wisdom on his lips. “Be above reproach. Two wrongs do not make one right. Do not take things into own hands.”

Recently while trying to sell off my existing house, an agent who promised all good things upfront failed to deliver. We lost a good 3months of wait with all other opportunity cost plus, my mom got all worked up. On the night of peace talk, David was the mediator. There were no fancy legworks, legal jargons nor preachy God stuff. In the face of false accusations, David spoke steadily, calmly with huge dose of grace and friendliness. What I saw awed me. If there was an altar call to repent of seeking revenge, that would be me. The God sized spirit in him won my family over in doing things God way.

That day I truly began my search for the right respond when we are wronged, hurt, rejected or mistreated. This book was the start of God’s answered prayer.
I was reminded of King David who said these very profound words, “I will not touch God’s anointed.”

It was not so much who hurt us, more than whom we trust. In my very contempt of the authorities God placed over me, I abused what God puts in my heart and felt as if I own the right to administrate justice. During the special ministry night of Friendship camp, I knew I might have some left over areas for God to work in but didn’t know exactly which areas. So I said a simple prayer and left it as that. In God’s time, I want to be able to go to the leaders to tell them what I saw God put in them. I want also to seek for their forgiveness.

People of God, be encouraged!
Proverbs 24:29
“Do not say, ‘I will do to him just as he has done to me; I (the Lord) will render to the man according to his work”

Proverbs 20:22
“Do not say, ‘I will recompense evil’; wait for the Lord, and he will save you”

Proverbs 25:21-22
If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for so you will heap coals of fire on his head and the Lord will reward you
[the idea is that an act of kindness to your enemy may cause him or her to feel ashamed. This is just one way to overcome evil with good (Rom. 12:20)]

You can find all of John Bevere's book @

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The fallen bread

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Few weeks ago, during the time of the Lord's supper during a church service, I looked over and saw David holding a cup with a thoroughly soaked piece of bread in the cup. Very quickly, I looked at him and assume his itchy fingers had a part to play in this embarassing predicament he got himself into. I immediately shot a question to him to him quietly but not so gently "Why did you do that?". To which he replied. "I figured no one will pick this cup on the communion tray as the bread had fallen into the cup, and soaked. So I pick this instead." Looking at the cup with the fallen bread in it, I realised that the lesson of the fallen bread is for me and not David. So quick to pass judgement, I reacted only to what my sinful eyes see. David's act of kindness, no matter how small and unseen by others, bears the true mark of sacrificial servanthood. It was a significant encounter for me and God. I repented.

Monday, May 01, 2006

For Your Glory

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Jesus, for your glory

Sunrise to sunset
Till your kingdom comes again
Wanna tell everyone how awesome your love

Wanna lose sight of all I can do
Blind to what I have

Status and richess, talents and skills
Lord you are more

My hands, my talents and skills
They belong only to you,
So take me, use me, consume me
For your highest glory and honour

All for your glory
My pride I lay it down again

Take me, use me, consume me
Only for your glory
O Jesus for your glory

More then the air I breathe
More then life itself
More then what I can
More then what I have

Shout to the world, how awesome your love
How you came and how you save
Lord, make me lose sight of me
Jesus for your glory

My hands, my skills, my talents
They belong only to you,
So take me, use me, consume me
For your highest glory and honour

Everything… Everything belongs to you

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Chandelier Mania

The season of renovation would be starting soon and it will go on for a month. Two weeks ago , the excitment of dressing up a house, finally my own, has dissolved into this big thing call stress. Maybe I have my many loves to blame. I love the antique, the ornate, the ancient, the rustic, the comfy bits, the odd bits, the cute bits and the list goes on. Essentially a home as we define is is a place we wanted will feel ourselves.

The good thing is David & I share very similiar style in almost everything. That makes life alot simpler. David & I settled on the eclectic look - a marriage of east and west. That day I chanced upon a black, ornate chandelier at lighting store. (ref to pic. it looks exactly like it!) It took my breath away. (how can it not??) It was not osentatious, but was certainly very elegant and classic. I loved it so much i thought about it weeks after we left the shop. I was hoping to find a cheaper equivalent but was unable. Then I ask David if we could just splurge it on this one. It cost about $400 so it is still within the "splurge budget" to just get it. But I also wanted another one for the dining place and two would have taken up the entire budget for all household items that we needed to buy. So it was a no deal. We both agreed that the budget for all the items to be bought should not exceed $1'000. This list includes fridge, washing machine, TV, dining table & chair set, sofa, cabinet, fancy and not so fancy lightings etc .

I suffered from Chandelier mania for 2 wks, then recovered this wk end just past. The world is not our own. I chose to be contented with another kind of ceiling light, those "big bowl" ones that looks like its stuck to the ceiling. I figured that will do, it'll probably cost us at most 20 bucks for a fairly nice one. I saw a cheap one at only 4 bucks! At the dining area, I will be contented with a $ 59 IKEA rod-iron hanging lamp. So there you go, I chose to hold loosely what I have on earth so that I can invest my all in what is eternal. In some sense I still love the chandelier, but perhaps this is just not the right time for it. it is not worth paying an arm and a leg for it, especially when I know that the money could be put to better use.

I had already been blessed by a friend who is giving us a second hand washing machine. Plus we've also got some other quite interesting finds here and there at an unbelievably low price.
I learnt that to be contented with little is great richess. So we continue to count our blessings...
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Thursday, April 13, 2006

Nothing will remain the same

Tomorrow is Good Friday. I suddenly felt guilty about not remembering it this morning. In my morning walk with Jesus today, I had a need. I asked him to heal me; to remove the cyst in my womb and to put a baby there instead. 4 days ago, God told me to pray persistently and I felt at a lost for words. So I asked God to teach me how he meant by “persistent”. He took me to the passage of the persistent widow, it was simply knocking and knocking till the door opens. It was asking at odd hours, it was asking because I needed it so badly. It was not caring about what time or how long. I just have to keep asking. Then I forgot completely about Good Friday because I was so focused on asking.

But as history has it, Good Friday took place. I never forgot how Jesus died. It was so awful, but I know that out of the depths of his heart, he would have still chosen go through it even if we wouldn’t let. Yesterday he reminded me that it was not just his love. He, a divine being came down to earth to take on the very nature of man, tempted like we do, yet without sin. I didn’t think for a moment it was easy for a prime minister of a state to simply let go of all that he possess, his status, his family, his job and lower himself to that of a begger living under the bridge. Jesus did that. And this act was simply the greatest act of humility ever known in the world.

Tonite, before I go to sleep. I’m going to start thanking him and praising his name. The cyst would be a have been and the baby would be a will be. What I am sure of is this. When Jesus died on the cross, he took upon himself sickness and infirmities, and the entire sin of the world; the past, present and future all rolled up in strips of ribbon-like flesh torn out, and the raw and bloodied back. It was in his tears that he cried & perspiration mixed with vinegar that drips from the man-made thorn-struck crown stinging his freshly opened wounds. He took it to the grave and buried it. Then as dramatically as he entered the grave, he walked out on the 3rd day, alive and unscathed, totally radiant! In this sort of love and glory, I know that I am healed!

Tonight, I will prepare my heart and wait upon my saviour, he has much to say to me, he loved me so much. How then, can I not remember this powerful day.

Welcome Good Friday, nothing will remain the same!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

God's presence

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The door was opened, he welcomed me home with opened arms, always. He always ran to the door if he heard my footsteps. But I was waiting to meet someone else. Laying aside hunger, I let loose my bundle of hair, allowing some trivial thoughts run wild. "Should I wash my hair today or tomorrow morning?" Perhaps it was a lazy thought, so the question went unanswered. The warm stream of water splashed down my head, it felt cathartic.

I was thinking about someone else while watching the mist steamed up the bathroom. It had been a long week, my soul was weary and patience wore thin on many occassions. David and I always made a point to dine together as much as possible, but today, I had asked him to go ahead before me, I felt bad, but I was so tired. This short retreat should be enough to tide me for dinner later. I reckon. Yearning for that someone was an understatement of all sorts. All I wanted to was to crawl in and remain there, but this one steam bath wasn't going to provide it, and neither is dining with my husband. It was one of those days when the door swings open and I could only managed a weak mumble. Watching David's excited face when he sees me always puts a smile in my heart. I think its these little treats that God puts for us that cushions our fall.

I spoke to God at last. The friend I had been waiting to talk with. I prayed in the spirit. I know that the holy spirit helps me in groans which I cannot understand. I know he didn't mind me crying or my sighs at all. My ever gentle and patient friend knows that this hide-out place was temporary. Besides rejoining David at the dinner table, life must, inevitably go on. And although all I could hear are the sounds of gushing water at that moment, there were no need for reasons and no need for any spoken words. No burning bush, no raging thunder, it was a special kind of rest. The kind that is at his feet.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Celebrate - Our New Garden

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God has given us this really big garden,
New look at every festival

It reminded me of baby Moses
God protected him, like God protected us; he knows our need

Then God splurge his love over and beyond our dreams
Like God paid Moses’s mum to care for his own son
God created landscapes of greens so we could daily admire and be refreshed
He’s given us a gardener to tend and water
this is his love so we can remember

Now I remembered how he reminded me of his presence when I looked at flowers and plants and trees in my strolls,
I marveled at God’s creativity
Have you ever noticed how he blends colour and shapes and forms so ingeniously!

He tells me he’s my friend
Someone who simply walks beside me in my stroll
no thunder, no storms, just a stroll in the park like two long time friends
Jesus speaks in whispers
Who would’ve known, that Jesus actually strolls!

Celebrate - Can you spot David & I in our new flat?

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Thursday, March 02, 2006


David was saying to me the other day “honey, we have a house now.”
I must say during the entire course of applying for a HDB flat, praying, selecting, appealing, waiting through the entire last 6mths or so, I almost lost sight of the most important thing. It was like life’s dishing out more than one expect that I had to fulfill and well, just “get it over and done with”.

I’m now trying to look for a new place for mum and selling her current place. This buying and selling of house doesn’t look as though it is ending for me yet. You see, I’m a careful person of all sorts, too careful at times maybe, when it comes to making decisions like these, I take an awful long time to wait upon God. I’ll be asking God probably a million times, “so how now”, “Yes, no, dunno?”, “speak to me Lord, what’s your way?” Since I know that God is not late, is never in a hurry and never lets us down, I figured I can’t be sitting there waiting for an answer to fall from heaven. What I did, while waiting in prayer, I went on to embark on different projects in life. I enjoyed it immensely, but one thing I forgot, in my “enjoyment of activities of all sorts”, I forgot to pause. What David said was like a breath of fresh air. I halt mid sentence, looked at him and allowed myself to soak in all the excitement and awe. Inside, I turned upwards to look at God and said ....“Wow!”. I realized though I had mumbled “thank God” at every turn of decision whether it is ours or HDB’s, maybe, just maybe those words were too simple a matter of convenience. Did I really mean it deep inside?

God did amazing things. Being first time home owners, we were basically in the dark about almost everything. God inspired us to move last year. He led us to exactly the right timing for a walk-in selection program in our neighbourhood – exactly where we wanted it and at a price that can only be described as “unbelievable”. We found ourselves in a flat needing fairly major renovations, and a knocked-down wall between 2 bedrooms. Sitting through dilemma wasn’t the best way to handle this. We prayed and asked God. Our hearts were like see-saw. Finally, we made a decision and signed the dotted line. To our surprise, we found that we were not eligible for HDB loans. Going on bank loans meant higher interest rates and we hated debts. Believing God for his utmost providence, we prayed and appealed to HDB. Once, twice, three times. Over Christmas 2005 and New Year 2006, a phone call came and this time it was good news. God gave us a four bedroom flat at $134,000 which will be fully paid for within two years on HDB loans! Is God in all these or what?

After the game, celebrate the win. Glory is be to God's forever.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Welcome Home!

My younger brother is coming home today. I am so happy. It is like a new beginning.
I cleaned his room 2 weeks ago, and washed his bedsheets, and wipe his bedroom walls yesterday. I wanted to throw away the mirror that cut him few years ago because I don't want the same thing to happen to him. I cared for him and love my brother alot, just that as we grow older, it seems difficult somewhat to express my love. It seemed that aside from spending time together, the other thing I tend to over-do is to buy lots of stuff for him, not that I am making up for the "Absent-sister" sydrome, which was never an issue ever since we were under the same roof. I often thought of what he needed and what he might lack, but then again, I am frequently wrong.

I tried getting a shirt 2 years ago, which he claimed that he liked but then wore it only once. I got him many winter clothes but they were either the wrong colour or wrong style. I got him a wallet last year when I saw that his was tattered and torn only to realise that that was the "in" look! So the wallet I got was again useless. He then mentioned that I should not get him what he already has. This year I got him a pair of jeans, and although he already has one, I thought maybe 1 is not enough especially for guys. Our in-laws also got him a Mp3 player by ScanDisk a popular storage maker in the U.S and a mug bearing his name.

I think of homecoming in the train this morning. I thought of something along the line of what God said, "eagerly yearn and groan for our home which is in heaven". I tried to imagine how I should be feeling. God must be talking about the intense feeling of anticipation, a churn in the stomach almost, but more than that, it is the deep longing to go back where I belong. How many people approach life on the exit this way, since I think it is only through our expiry date on earth that we can go home in heaven? Before we got it all wrong, God is not asking us to seek to end it all, but illuminating The way we are purposed to live. It is when we know where we are going, then we know how we can get there. While we are here, God bestowed many gifts. His gift of holy spirit guides us, leads us and interceeds in groans for us when we don't know how. I cannot imagine life without the holy spirit. In times of my struggle and helplessness, the all-knowing holy spirit sticks his head out for me, provides for me and perfomers miracles for me. God also gives me peace, he keeps my footsteps sure. It is also sweet to know that my rested sleep is a way of how God shows me he loves me.

I'm not sure if the gifts I got will sit well with my brother this time , but I am thinking perhaps what he needs is something I cannot buy. I prayed for him the gift of Holy Spirit and the gift of peace, strength, faith, wisdom and his BIG BIG love so that his spirit will be nourished and fed. Maybe his spirit is yearning for premium gifts, the type that is priceless but only God can give. I hope that his homecoming will be pleasant. I hope he will feel belong. I also hope that he knows the gifts that God gives are readily available. I am heading to the airport this evening with great joy in my heart. I can imagine how God feel if he was heading that way too.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

A second lease

I haven’t read anything that tug at my heart strings for a long time. I mean those that I couldnt even let go at meal times were the literature books and suspense novels painted wild with imaginations in my entire 5-13 years of age. I started reading factually, out of necessity. Miraculously, I still wrote.

At 10yrs old my aunt saw an essay I wrote for a school assignment and told my mum how wonderfully I have written. I didn't think of my aunt very much then, afterall she peeked at my unfinished essay without permission. Out of interest I went for English tuition, my tutor always read my essays out loud in class. I started writing creatively and enjoyed the entire process of dreaming up new characters to fit into imaginative plots. At 16, these essays became the saving grace for my life. In an unexpected turn of events, my academic results tumbled. Somehow the ability to produce something out of a seemingly nothingness of my life was God's way of stretching his hands and whispering to me "Come, try again". I never gave up on life. I also tried my exams a second time. My parents took me to another school. My lady principle, though I cannot remember anything significant about her looks, did something. She gave me a second lease of life. Once I felt like a stray puppy on the street, then I was given an instant make-over. In that year, I won a nation wide essay competition, tying a merit prize together with the brainiest girl in class. Look what grace did to me.

We failed in life. Once, twice and so times more as a child, as a friend, as a wife, as an employee. I always thought artists were irrational, mostly drug addicts, social misfits, unfathomable genius who could not get along with anyone. Mozart, Vincent Van Ghoh & so many tell a past that I wouldn’t want to be part of. Yet I realised how many times I had allowed what I see dictate where I go. I have left my first love - writing for a long long time. Now I am coming back. I am asking for a second lease of life. One of my favourite author, Shannon Woodward said this “Real writing changed lives, made people think and offered hope.” I felt a tug at my heart and I saw what was on God’s mind. He would have added “It’s never too late”. May his grace be ever so sufficient.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

we are like a moon

I learnt something powerful yesterday... "Like a moon, all human beings have a dark side, if we ignore it, it will overcome us. However if we own up to it and let God in, he will overcome it."

Saturday, January 07, 2006

David's niece and I - trying to have a quiet corner to ourselves. I don't think anyone would believe us.  Posted by Picasa
Last nite in Jakarta, 5 Jan 05 - celebrated with David's sister's family & kid. Who can resist this mouth-watering, earth-shattering ice-cream? Yummy! Posted by Picasa
Day 4 - On our way home. We saw a strange thing in the sky! Posted by Picasa
Back to Jakarta - in David's house. I was particularly drawn to the window grilles. I thot they looked beautiful? can't quite put my finger on the influence of this design though. Posted by Picasa
Day 3 - Dinner. Can you guess how much this plate cost? You'd never have guessed! only S$7. Succulent beef. ooooh, what can I say?  Posted by Picasa
Day 3 - West Java. Looks like heaven isn't it? Actually we were at the crater of an dormant volcana. There was a breeze and the thick fog came straight at us. And if you think we look cool, we were actually freezing cold. But for the sake of picture perfect, no jackets! We are crazeeee!!!! Posted by Picasa
and of course we can't resist taking a pic together! Seems like when we get older, we tend to like quieter places or rather a place where nothing seems to move very much!  Posted by Picasa
we arrived at this absolutely tranquil place. It was so beautiful & the air was so cool. I wish i could fall asleep right in the middle of the very Lush greeneries... hmmm... Posted by Picasa
looking for something? Posted by Picasa
on holiday in Jakarta 27 Dec 05 - trying to find strawberries is always a delight! Posted by Picasa