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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

God's presence

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The door was opened, he welcomed me home with opened arms, always. He always ran to the door if he heard my footsteps. But I was waiting to meet someone else. Laying aside hunger, I let loose my bundle of hair, allowing some trivial thoughts run wild. "Should I wash my hair today or tomorrow morning?" Perhaps it was a lazy thought, so the question went unanswered. The warm stream of water splashed down my head, it felt cathartic.

I was thinking about someone else while watching the mist steamed up the bathroom. It had been a long week, my soul was weary and patience wore thin on many occassions. David and I always made a point to dine together as much as possible, but today, I had asked him to go ahead before me, I felt bad, but I was so tired. This short retreat should be enough to tide me for dinner later. I reckon. Yearning for that someone was an understatement of all sorts. All I wanted to was to crawl in and remain there, but this one steam bath wasn't going to provide it, and neither is dining with my husband. It was one of those days when the door swings open and I could only managed a weak mumble. Watching David's excited face when he sees me always puts a smile in my heart. I think its these little treats that God puts for us that cushions our fall.

I spoke to God at last. The friend I had been waiting to talk with. I prayed in the spirit. I know that the holy spirit helps me in groans which I cannot understand. I know he didn't mind me crying or my sighs at all. My ever gentle and patient friend knows that this hide-out place was temporary. Besides rejoining David at the dinner table, life must, inevitably go on. And although all I could hear are the sounds of gushing water at that moment, there were no need for reasons and no need for any spoken words. No burning bush, no raging thunder, it was a special kind of rest. The kind that is at his feet.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Celebrate - Our New Garden

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God has given us this really big garden,
New look at every festival

It reminded me of baby Moses
God protected him, like God protected us; he knows our need

Then God splurge his love over and beyond our dreams
Like God paid Moses’s mum to care for his own son
God created landscapes of greens so we could daily admire and be refreshed
He’s given us a gardener to tend and water
this is his love so we can remember

Now I remembered how he reminded me of his presence when I looked at flowers and plants and trees in my strolls,
I marveled at God’s creativity
Have you ever noticed how he blends colour and shapes and forms so ingeniously!

He tells me he’s my friend
Someone who simply walks beside me in my stroll
no thunder, no storms, just a stroll in the park like two long time friends
Jesus speaks in whispers
Who would’ve known, that Jesus actually strolls!

Celebrate - Can you spot David & I in our new flat?

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Thursday, March 02, 2006


David was saying to me the other day “honey, we have a house now.”
I must say during the entire course of applying for a HDB flat, praying, selecting, appealing, waiting through the entire last 6mths or so, I almost lost sight of the most important thing. It was like life’s dishing out more than one expect that I had to fulfill and well, just “get it over and done with”.

I’m now trying to look for a new place for mum and selling her current place. This buying and selling of house doesn’t look as though it is ending for me yet. You see, I’m a careful person of all sorts, too careful at times maybe, when it comes to making decisions like these, I take an awful long time to wait upon God. I’ll be asking God probably a million times, “so how now”, “Yes, no, dunno?”, “speak to me Lord, what’s your way?” Since I know that God is not late, is never in a hurry and never lets us down, I figured I can’t be sitting there waiting for an answer to fall from heaven. What I did, while waiting in prayer, I went on to embark on different projects in life. I enjoyed it immensely, but one thing I forgot, in my “enjoyment of activities of all sorts”, I forgot to pause. What David said was like a breath of fresh air. I halt mid sentence, looked at him and allowed myself to soak in all the excitement and awe. Inside, I turned upwards to look at God and said ....“Wow!”. I realized though I had mumbled “thank God” at every turn of decision whether it is ours or HDB’s, maybe, just maybe those words were too simple a matter of convenience. Did I really mean it deep inside?

God did amazing things. Being first time home owners, we were basically in the dark about almost everything. God inspired us to move last year. He led us to exactly the right timing for a walk-in selection program in our neighbourhood – exactly where we wanted it and at a price that can only be described as “unbelievable”. We found ourselves in a flat needing fairly major renovations, and a knocked-down wall between 2 bedrooms. Sitting through dilemma wasn’t the best way to handle this. We prayed and asked God. Our hearts were like see-saw. Finally, we made a decision and signed the dotted line. To our surprise, we found that we were not eligible for HDB loans. Going on bank loans meant higher interest rates and we hated debts. Believing God for his utmost providence, we prayed and appealed to HDB. Once, twice, three times. Over Christmas 2005 and New Year 2006, a phone call came and this time it was good news. God gave us a four bedroom flat at $134,000 which will be fully paid for within two years on HDB loans! Is God in all these or what?

After the game, celebrate the win. Glory is be to God's forever.