They've done it their way - ST

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Hillsong - Like Incense (Sometimes By Step)

A lovely moment spent with my beloved God and father in heaven. What a beautiful rhema moment.

The Lord knows, the Lord knows... and that is enough. I am contented because the Lord knows.

May my prayer like incense rise before you
even when the road is narrow ...
I know there is mercy in your sight
your statues are my heritage forever ...
my heart is set on keeping your decree ...
please still my anxious urge toward rebellion
let love keep my will upon its knee ...
You are my God ... I will ever praise you

lift it up
the Lord is compassionate
his face is shining

He is Lord. That is the most powerful statement ... for life.




Chords here

Lyrics
Like incense/sometimes by step
Hillsong- Brooke Fraser aka Brooke Ligertwood

[Verse 1]
May my prayer like incense rise before You
The lifting of my hands as sacrifice
Oh Lord Jesus turn Your eyes upon me
For I know there is mercy in Your sight

Your statutes are my heritage forever
My heart is set on keeping Your decrees
Please still my anxious urge toward rebellion
Let Love keep my will upon its knees

[Chorus]
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You

[Verse 2]
To all creation I can see a limit
But Your commands are boundless and have none
So Your Word is my joy and meditation
From the rising to the setting of the sun

All Your ways are loving and are faithful
The road is narrow but Your burden light
Because You gladly lean to lead the humble
I shall gladly kneel to leave my pride

[Chorus]

[Selah]
To all creation I can see a limit
But Your commands are boundless and have none
So Your Word is my joy and meditation
From the rising to the setting of the sun

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
I will seek You in the morning
I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

Heart of a teacher - Paula Fox

Henry Brooks Adam - “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell, where his influence stops.”

I want to share this absolutely beautiful poem. This is for those teaching as a profession, teaching your own kids or serving as a teacher in the Lord. AGTV

The child arrives like a mystery box…
with puzzle pieces inside
some of the pieces are broken or missing…
and others just seem to hide

But the HEART of a teacher can sort them out…
and help the child to see
the potential for greatness he has within…
a picture of what he can be

Her goal isn’t just to teach knowledge…
by filling the box with more parts
it’s putting the pieces together…
and creating a work of art

The process is painfully slow at times…
some need more help than others
each child is a work in progress…
with assorted shapes and colors

First she creates a classroom…
where the child can feel safe in school
where he never feels threatened or afraid to try…
and kindness is always the rule

She knows that a child
can achieve much more
when he feels secure inside
when he’s valued and loved…
and believes in himself

…and he has a sense of pride

She models and teaches good character…
and respect for one another
how to focus on strengths…not weaknesses
and how to encourage each other

She gives the child the freedom he needs…
to make choices on his own
so he learns to become more responsible…
and is able to stand alone

He’s taught to be strong and think for himself…
as his soul and spirit heal
and the puzzle that’s taking shape inside…
has a much more positive feel

The child discovers the joy that comes…
from learning something new…
and his vision grows as he begins
to see all the things that he can do

A picture is formed as more pieces fit…
an image of the child within
with greater strength and confidence…
and a belief that he can win!

All because a hero was there…
in the HEART of a teacher who cared
enabling the child to become much more…
than he ever imagined…or dared

A teacher with a HEART for her children…
knows what teaching is all about
she may not have all the answers…
but on this…she has no doubt

When asked which subjects she loved to teach,
she answered this way and smiled…
“It’s not the subjects that matter…
It’s all about teaching the CHILD.”

I remember my 7th grade social studies teacher, Mrs. Oppenborn, and the valuable life lesson she taught me one day. One day after Halloween, Mrs. Oppenborn brought in candy for my class. We all rushed up to take it, and then were on to the next activity. Mrs. Oppenborn stopped us with the following observation, “I noticed that none of you said ‘thank you’ when you took the candy.” She went on to say, “You’re probably not going to hear many people tell you this, but remember to say ‘thank you’ when you receive something you didn’t ask for. I didn’t have to bring in candy for you all, and you didn’t have to say anything. But, I did, so you should consider showing your gratitude.” Simple truths

How Kinesthetic Learners learn

Kinesthetic Learners

How to tell if your child is kinesthetic!

They are very active
Not able to sit still long
Talks with body language and gestures
They like to show you better than tell you
Always touching and feeling things
Good at mimicking others
They like those amusement rides unless they make them sick, then they avoid them
Naturally athletic and loves sports
Sometimes they are labeled with attention deficient disorder
Remembers what they do very well
They remember best by getting physically involved in whatever is being taught
Acting out what you are reading
Enjoys making and creating things
Will take notes to keep busy but will not often use them.
Enjoys using computers
Has trouble staying still or in one place for a long time, hates lectures!
Enjoys hands-on activities
Seems to want to fiddle with small objects while listening or working
Likes to eat snacks while studying.
Is not great at spelling
Does not have great handwriting
Likes science labs, hands on work!
Studies with music on
Likes adventure books, movies
Likes role playing
Takes breaks when studying
Easily distracted by activity around them
Has good coordination
Best ideas and energy will come when engaging in some physical activities
Likes spending free time outdoors
Working with jigsaws puzzles
Some prefer to take an engine apart and put it back together, than do any reading or looking at diagrams about how it works.
They tend to lose concentration if there is little or no external stimulation or movement with what they are learning
They can remember how to do things after they've done them only once (motor memory).
Have good motor coordination.
They remember best the things they experience

How kinesthetic kids learn!

They must do things for themselves to have the best chance of learning.
When they are listening to lectures they may want to take notes just so they can move their hands.
When reading, they like to just scan over the material first, and then check out the details of it.
They might use color highlighters and take notes by drawing pictures, diagrams, or doodling.
Play music, when appropriate, during activities.
Be sure to use colored markers to show main points on charts, chalkboards and white boards.
Give them lots of stretch breaks
Make sure they have toys such as Koosh balls or Play-Dough to give them something to do with their hands.
Give them colored pencils, markers, highlighter pens to use
They are most successful when totally involved with the learning activity
They will receive information fastest when participating in a science lab, drama presentation, skit, field trip, dance, or other active activity.
Be sure to use touch, action, movement and hands-on work in your learning activities
Use real objects as much as possible.
Let the child touch what ever they are learning about as much as you can.
Flashcards can help them memorize information because they can touch and move them around.
Also remember that writing and drawing diagrams are physical activities, so be sure to let them use these activities
Use big sheets of paper and large color markers for your diagrams.
To remember a phone number some learners may remember the pattern of their fingers as the press the numbers.
Let them studying in short sessions
Take them on field trips, library, museums
They like to study with others
Use memory games to teach with
The worse things for them to do is to take long tests or do essays
How they learn best is with fill ins, multiple choice, short definitions
To help them with memorization let them pace or walk around while reciting to yourself or using flashcards or notes.

Things they enjoy doing, making dioramas, working with modeling clay, scrap booking, using a color book, crafts, dance, demonstrations, games using the body, needlework, rocking and reading, making a video, making posters, dressing up as characters, anything on the chalkboard/whiteboard, charades, pantomimes, plays, calculators, puzzles, walking and reading, puppet shows, workbooks, musical performances, labs, cut and paste tasks, making mobiles, making displays

They might study better laying on their stomach or back, or in a comfortable chair or bean bag
When they are trying to memorize info, have them close their eyes and air write the info or on a surface, also tell them to try to hear the words in their heads.
Try not to do just one thing only , let them do various things like drawing, playing board games, following instructions to make something, movement activities,
Working in a standing position might help
Letting them chew gum while doing school work will help keep them doing their work
Kinetic learners learn while they are walking around while listening.

Vocabulary
Kinesthetic Vocabulary Charades: Help your child make a list of words and their definitions. Take turns with your kinesthetic child selecting a word and acting it out silently, so the other can guess which word is being dramatized. If you go first, select a word, act it out, and have your child guess which word you are acting out. Then have your child select a word and act it out, and you guess the meaning. Points can be awarded for each correct guess. http://ezinearticles.com/?Kinesthetic-Vocabulary-Activities-Accelerate-Learning-for-Kinesthetic-Learners&id=1132036

Spelling
use those magnetic letters to teach spelling, they can touch the letters and move them around so that makes it easier to remember for them. Also let them trace the letters with their fingers.
Be sure to keep the lessons short and offer 5 min. breaks
spelling games will work, use flash cards,
Having them write their spelling words on flashcards will help

Language arts
use computer, typing helps and its movement
Use word tiles to make sentences
Sentences strips to make paragraphs

Math
also use computer, games online
write problems on chalkboard/whiteboard
teach them math by using manipulatives! so they can move things around and touch!
they can also learn math by writing out the facts
Using everyday situation will help with teaching math, like shopping, cooking

Reading/Phonics
Let them walk around while reading or some kind of movement
Letting them act out the store while they listen might help
Teach phonics using hands on games, let the child handle any cards etc you use, use recipe cards with sounds on them, let them build works with them

A father's cry - Sanctus Real

Sharing what we watched in our first session of "Parenting babies and toddlers" class. Enjoy!

The real story behind the song:

Sanctus Real - The Story Behind Lead Me
Uploaded by EMI_Music. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

(Sanctus real) - Lead me Official music video

Sanctus Real - Lead Me (Official Music Video)
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The Greatness of our God - Hillsong

The greatness of our God

"Verse 1
A E B
Give me eyes to see more of who You are
A E B
May what I behold still my anxious heart
A E B
Take what I have known and break it all apart
A B
You my God are greater still

Chorus 1
A E
And no sky contains
B C#m A
No doubt restrains all You are
E B
The greatness of our God
A E
I spend my life to know
B/D# C#m A
And I'm far from close to all You are
B
The greatness of our God

Verse 2
C#m A E
Give me grace to see beyond this moment here
C#m A E B/D#
To believe that there is nothing left to fear
C#m A E
And that You alone are high above it all
A B
You my God are greater still

Instrumental
A, E, B, C#m
A, E, B

Bridge 1
A E B
And there is nothing that could ever separate us
A E B
There is nothing that could ever separate us
C#m
From Your love
A E B/D# C#m
No life no death of this I am convinced
A B
That You my God are greater still
(Repeat)

Chorus 2
A E
And no words could say
B C#m A
Or song convey all You are
E B
The greatness of our God

I spend my life to know
And I'm far from close to all You are
The greatness of our God

Chorus 3
A E
And no sky contains
B C#m A
No doubt restrains all You are
E B
The greatness of our God
I spend my life to know
And I'm far from close to all You are
The greatness of our God
All You are the greatness of our God"


Copyright 2010 Hillsong Publishing / So Essential Tunes All rights Reserved. Used by permission.

What a beautiful prose, that flows so intimately into a beautiful worship experience unto our God.

Review : Julia Gabriel Mandarin Speech & Drama - N1 class

We ended our N1 parents accompanied program after 1 Term (10weeks), Mandarin Speech and Drama at Julia Gabriel last month. Our goal for the class was for both KB and me to get excited at conversational mandarin. I also liked a parent accompanied program so that I can observe and participate in my child's learning. Firstly, I had no one to converse mandarin with at home. Daddy speaks Bahasa in addition to English , so all my child picked up was mandarin and Bahasa songs and that's it.

Our theme was: Toys "Wan Ju"

Program
Warm-up with toys - kids joins the class and plays freely with toys on the mat
Circle time - Introducing each one, saying hello and singing songs with action
Drama - Teachers dons a head-gear and enacts a short story with reference to the day's object
Magic Box - A magic box is brought out to let class guess what is inside (usually toy of the day)
Worksheet - simple word recognition and pasting exercise are done
Ends - Class ends with more songs.

We signed up for seven sessions and that was just enough for us. The program structure seems a little stale and towards the third or forth session, KB last interest in the magic box. He was into the drama where the teachers enacted stories. It was a simple 5-15mins stories which does not have most creative plots or storyline. There were not much props that stimulates a child visually. A pity since it is a drama class. I thought there should at least be more creativeness in this class.

Review of items teachers taught:
Songs that was sung was good as it coincides with the 'toy of the day'.

Word recognition and worksheet was rather pointless as the program was for 2-3year olds. It was not my focus to work on word recognition so we did not work on that at all.

The Magic box concept was an interesting prop that was so over-used and hence "an over-kill'. I almost doze off on that one too.

Review of the way teachers relate:
In two instances, the main teacher used peer pressure to get KB to do something the rest of the class was doing. Personally, I felt that was unprofessional. A young child may be developmentally not ready or not interested. I assume she was a trained teacher in early childhood development but it failed to show up. It was a far cry from the gym class I signed KB up. The instructor, Renee, at The little Gym were so gentle and polite in reaching out to a child that it really gave the child respect and hence confidence to try something new.

Final verdict
It is not what is being taught as opposed to how it is being taught that matters.

The final product is that my child learns but refused to show it in class. He has started to speak to our mandarin-speaking neighbours in mandarin and he has been more at ease speaking mandarin to each other at home. There were few instances where he initiates speaking mandarin as well.

Would I recommend this class?
Maybe. If you're looking for creative class with a high energy child, I'd say this one pretty much stifles everything. If this is a kick-start for English speaking homes and kids who are quite young, this may be an introduction. I like that the class speaks only mandarin for 1 hour, because our homes do not provide this sort of environment. The good thing is there is no need to sign up for the whole term of 10weeks, and you can go for trial class as well.

Preschool learning

Innovative is an over-used word. Love for learning can mean a thousand things. So what does it mean for us when it comes to preschool learning?

Our major
In our home, We nurture spirit of servanthood via responsibilities and other positive character traits that is age-appropriate.

i.e:When a child becomes 14- 18mths old, he is capable of putting soiled clothes in the laundry, helping the parents put clothes into the wardrobe, keep his own toys, and do simple clean-up after water spills. He is also capable of watering the plants.

When a child becomes 2 - 3year old, he is capable of making his bed, taking out and wearing his own clothes, cleaning up his belongings, toys or a bike, setting the table, washing and cooking rice, helping to carry simple shopping bags etc.

The list grows along with each capabilities but each child is encouraged to do so on a daily basis. Kids thrive on being given the responsibility to handle everyday chores, it gives them a sense of achievement. It gives them confidence and nurtures an outward-looking perspective in the long
run.

Outdoor
Our outdoor activities are define by elements which are free and healthy, namely; sunshine, air and rain. We thrive on nature walk and gets our daily dose of perk-me-ups via what we observe or discover along the way. Kids can be in the public playground, shoveling sand, making up stories and creating anything they like. A child can ride a bike through parks, or checking out a man-made stream/lake. Or simply learning about science by watching leaves floating by the "long-kang" (drain). We could be sitting on tree branches and feeling its texture or thanking God for the rainbow he has made. We could be spotting an uprooted tree and take its roots home for our nature museum. Our discoveries and places we go are endless.

Child-directed, delight-learning approach
We have free slots, in and out of the house. These are time so precious and pertinent for the mind to explore and be fascinated by people, culture, arts, transportations or nature around them. We allow their giftings, a "natural bent" to develop and we shape it accordingly.

This is also the time we do our pretend-play, or imaginative play where problem-solving lifeskills develop, even in tiny 3-year-olds. These are times where no adult interferes except for areas where safety, health and moral boundaries are concerned. We don't even care to inject our opinion or an idea in their play. Well, sometimes maybe, but only for a lack of a complete vocabulary.

Its a child's play world and what they like to do, they are the leaders in the world of play. That is why they flourish and take ownership. A love for learning results. Adults may be interested in the product, but for a child, its process is all that matters, and we nurture that. True play is how a preschooler learns. Play converges with academic subjects.

We can do this, because we are a ratio of 1:2.

Parent-directed approach
Topics requiring the leadership of a parent are needful. Adults who has gained first hand encounter with a loving God are capable of giving love. Adults who has gained experiences in life, understanding and knowledge about particular subjects can give the same. It is essential that a global view is gradually presented to a child whose encounter with God is limited, and whose knowledge about the world he lives in is far from what he sees and touches.

Devotions
Devotions are like opening gifts that is stored up in the Bible for us by our loving . Since we are made in the image of God, our goal is to be more and more like him.

We do devotions using contemporary materials that matches the developmental growth of each child. Topics like God loves me, God helps me, God makes me are foundational truth which expands to real-life application in a child's everyday circumstance. The above helps us sieve out topics like 'Loving our friends means no fighting', 'God helps me when I am afraid', 'Sharing our toys is loving', and 'Its okay to let others go first' etc.

Academic
Academic subjects are customised according to each to a child's giftedness. A well-rounded education is given when the child is introduced to subjects in the world when a child is developmentally ready, delights in it and finds purpose as he integrates it into his daily lifestyle. Developmental readiness has nothing to do with chronological age, but everything to do with individual confidence which coincides with specific tasks he is working on. Take readiness out of the equation, and the joy for learning goes out as well

We see numbers in our lives as well as letters on the roads, we see God in nature and in our difficult circumstances, we see Geography when daddy goes on business trip, we learn about compassion and thankfulness when we become fussy, we learn about science when we discover that things have various surfaces. We become little businessmen when we have a stall and sell things to real customers. Music is when they hear mummy worshiping God by the keyboard or when they make rhythmn. We see Art in the sky, when the clouds resemble something, or when the little hand mould 'playdoh' and splatter paint to look like galaxy by their own definitions! See how play is learning and learning is playing?


Socialisation
We impart the love for all people and all cultures like God commanded us to "love our neighbours". Compassion and empathy are the pillars of socialisation. Socialisation is creating meaningful relationships with people. Best of all, we love spending time with our family.

We are out everyday, observing and meeting different people of all ages, that speak both English, Mandarin and sometimes a little dialect. We see the workings of buyer-seller relationship. We participate in neigbourly relationships. i.e; when our neighbours pop in for a visit or when we visit them. We see how society functions in every unique situations we visit. The way we socialise is not confined by age or culture of people we meet. We learn to adapt and flow without compromising our moral code. This is what we do as parents-teachers and we hope our kids follow suit.

Finally,
Nothing is hurried nor pressured into achieving. We debunk performance. We debunk peer pressure. We don't strive to be first in everything we do. Our goal is to exude a spirit of excellence in deeds or in thoughts, in all we seek to glorify our King.

Do you have goals for your preschoolers' learning? Does your family's learning goals align with the institute your child is enrolled in? Does such preschool exits?
Learning can exist right in your own homes. :)

Breakthrough: Greeting & Sitting

Our elder one has finally ventured out to initiate "hello" to his friends. My younger one has managed to keep his hands together and waited till our family finished our morning prayer.

2 little ones, 2 big breakthroughs to thank God for. Woo-hooo! Praise the lord!

We all hear things, good, bad, both with supported evidence and findings. Finally, we had to make a decision, what is the wiser way? Take a look at the flip side of the coin, a report that is scarcely heard nowadays, especially with frantic parents all over the world rushing to send their still-learning-to-walk pretoddlers to school.

The dark side of preschool:

Peers, social skills, and stress

© 2006 Gwen Dewar, all rights reserved

You send your child to preschool, hoping she will learn better people skills. Instead, she comes back with new behavior problems—-increased rudeness, or whining, or aggression. Spending lots of time with peers doesn’t seem to have improved her social skills. It’s made them worse!
It’s an experience shared by many parents, according to researchers at Stanford and the University of California.
Drawing on a massive, national database of over 14,000 children from diverse backgrounds, researchers examined the effects of preschool attendance on interpersonal skills, self control, and rates of aggression.
The results were remarkably clear:
“We find that attendance in preschool centers, even for short periods of time each week, hinders the rate at which young children develop social skills and display the motivation to engage classroom tasks, as reported by their kindergarten teachers” (Loeb et al 2005).
We might guess that the problem lies with poor quality preschool centers. But even high income children—-who presumably attend the better preschools—-showed increased behavioral problems if they had attended at least 15 hours a week (Loeb et al 2005). Moreover, the effect is dosage-dependent. The more time children spend in centers, the worse their behavior becomes.
Similar results were reported by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHHD), which conducted a rigorous longitudinal study on the effects of childcare on children under 5 (National Institute of Child Health and Human Development 2003).
Over a thousand children were tracked from infancy to kindergarten by investigators at over 20 prominent research universities.
Researchers found that the more time kids spent in non-maternal care during the first 4.5 years of life, the more behavioral problems they developed.
Problems included defiance--like talking back, throwing temper tantrums, and refusing to cooperate. They also included aggressive behaviors--being cruel, destroying toys and other objects, and getting into physical fights.
In addition, kids who spent more time in childcare were rated as less socially competent by their mothers and kindergarten teachers.
Is bad social behavior caused by too much time in childcare centers, or not enough quality time with parents? Both may be true. But some evidence suggests that extended peer contact is part of the problem.
Consider the findings from the Stanford / University of California study. Kids who received non-parental care outside of childcare centers (for example, those cared for by grandparents or nannies) did NOT suffer increased social problems. According to this study, it wasn’t necessarily being away from parents that made kids misbehave. It was spending many hours in group care with peers (Loeb et al 2005).


Stressed-out preschoolers
Other evidence suggests that spending time at preschool-—or daycare-—is downright stressful.
Daycare or preschool stress can be measured by the levels of cortisol-—a stress hormone—-that children produce during the day. In normal, healthy people, cortisol levels follow a daily rhythm, peaking when they wake and then falling over the course of the day. Cortisol levels are the lowest just before sleep (Sapolsky 2004).
But stress changes the pattern. If you are under stress, your cortisol level rises, regardless of the time of day. In the short term, this helps your body respond to the crisis. But chronic stress, and chronically elevated levels of cortisol, can cause health and developmental problems (Sapolsky 2004).
Because cortisol levels are easy to measure in young children, researchers have collected samples from children who attend daycare and children who stay home. In study after study, the results are the same.
When children stay home, their cortisol levels show the healthy pattern—-rising at waking and decreasing throughout the day. When children attend daycare, the pattern changes. Cortisol levels increase during the day (Geoffroy et al 2006).
Although it’s not entirely clear what aspects of preschool attendance are stressing kids, some possibilities can be ruled out.
For instance, it’s not about being separated from parents. Kids who receive home-based care do not have elevated cortisol levels, even when their parents are absent (Dettling et al 2000). Nor is it about differences in daytime resting. Kids in group-based childcare show more stress even after taking into account any possible differences in napping or resting opportunities during the day (Watamura et al 2002).
Many researchers suspect the culprit is social stress—-in particular, dealing with peers. Megan Gunnar, a University of Minnesota psychobiologist who has studied cortisol levels in preschoolers since the 1990s, agrees. “There is something about managing a complex peer setting for an extended time that triggers stress in young children” Gunnar (ResearchWorks 2005).

What's wrong with peer socialization?

To many parents and teachers, these findings seem to defy common sense. Surely we learn social skills by interacting with other people. What could be more natural than letting your preschooler loose in a social world of her own peers?
In fact, part of this reasoning is sound. You do need people to learn people skills. The question is--which people? Preschoolers need to learn empathy, compassion, patience, emotional self-control, social etiquette, patience, and an upbeat, constructive attitude for dealing with social problems.
These lessons can’t be learned through peer contact alone. Preschools are populated with impulsive, socially incompetent little people who are prone to sudden fits of rage or despair. These little guys have difficulty controlling their emotions, and they are ignorant of the social niceties. They have poor insight into the minds and emotions of others (Gopnik et al 1999).
Yes, preschoolers can offer each other important social experiences. But their developmental status makes them unreliable social tutors. A child who copies other children may pick up good habits—-but she may also pick up bad ones. And peers do not always provide each other with right kind of feedback.
When a child offers to share his toy with a caring adult, he gets rewarded with gratitude and praise. He also learns that he will eventually get his toy back. When he offers to share with a peer, he may not get rewarded at all. Without adult guidance, these experiences can undermine social development by teaching the wrong lessons.
Moreover, it’s hard to see what’s natural about herding together a bunch of children who are all the same age. From the evolutionary, historical, and cross-cultural perspectives, it’s an unusual practice.

Preschool is an evolutionary novelty

Throughout most of human history, people lived in small foraging bands of around 25 individuals. In such small groups, children rarely had playmates of the same age. Socialization meant interacting with people of all ages, from infants to grandparents (Konner 2005). In modern foraging groups, children play in multi-age playgroups (Hewitt and Lamb 2005) and may be watched over by multiple caregivers, including older sisters and grandmothers (Hrdy 2005).
Even after the rise of agriculture, the “warehousing” of small children would have been rare. Like foraging groups, village-based communities are characterized by multi-aged playgroups and older sibling caregivers. Historically speaking, segregating children by age is a relatively new idea. It is favored in industrialized societies where people lack the support of extended families and parents work outside of the home.

What you can do

Spending long hours with peers can cause problems. But this doesn’t mean that preschool can’t be a positive social experience. In fact, kids benefit from opportunities to play with peers. The key is balancing peer play time with plenty of affectionate, sensitive parenting. Here are some specific tips on getting the best out of preschool or daycare.

Stay tuned into your child's needs

Time spent in daycare effects your child’s behavior. But it’s NOT the most important factor. The NICHHD study found that the most important predictor of social competence was maternal sensitivity. Sensitive mothers are warm and supportive. They understand their children’s emotional needs and demonstrate respect for their children’s autonomy. According to the NICHHD, the kids with the best behavioral outcomes had mothers who scored highly on maternal sensitivity (NICHHD 2003).

Remain your child’s primary social tutor

See this article on preschool social skills. These include talking to your child about her emotions and encouraging her to form at least one friendship with a peer at school.

Reduce daycare / preschool hours to a minimum

The negative influence of daycare depends on a child's age AND on the total time spent in group care.
Compared to children of other ages, preschoolers may be especially vulnerable to the disruptive effects of group care. Kids between the ages of 39-60 months are more likely to experience elevated cortisol levels than are younger and older kids(Geoffroy et al 2006). Moreover, the NICHHD study reports that kids between 37-54 months were especially likely to show delays in social competence when they spent longer hours in group care.
However, researchers suspect that the length of time spent in daycare matters more than the age of the child. It's probably the cumulative quantity of care—-long hours over many years-—that causes the most behavioral problems (NICHHD 2003). If you can, try to combine preschool / daycare attendance with other kinds of quality care.

Find classes that are small and intimate

Find caregivers who can give your child warm, individualized, personal attention. According to one study, the least stressful preschool environments were small-scale--classes with no more than 15 students and 4 teachers (Legendre 2003).

Make sure kids have room to play

Look for preschools or daycare centers that provide ample space for kids to play. Adults don’t like to be crowded. Neither do kids (Legendre 2003).

Look for teachers who enforce friendly, polite behavior

Some schools are more permissive and laissez-faire than others. Avoid schools that let kids get away with angry, antisocial or disobedient behavior.

Look for teachers who use inductive discipline

Inductive discipline emphasizes explaining the reasons for rules and the consequences of bad behavior. Preschoolers raised with inductive discipline show more self-control and have the best social skills (Hart et al 1992).

Communicate regularly with your childcare providers

Find out what your child is doing at school. If your child is being rejected by his peers—-or is involved in rejecting another child—-take corrective action (see my article on preschool social skills ). Similarly, get involved if your child is hanging out with a “bad crowd.” When preschoolers play in peer groups characterized by negative emotions or anti-social behavior, their social development suffers (Denham et al 2001).

References

Denham S, Mason T, Caverly S, Schmidt M, Hackney R, Caswell C, deMulder E. 2001. Preschoolers at Play: Co-socialisers of emotion and social competence. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 25: 290-301.
Dettling, A. C., Parker, S. W., Lane, S. K., Sebanc, A., & Gunnar, M. R. (2000). Quality of care and temperament determine whether cortisol levels rise over the day for children in full-day child care. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 25, 819-836.
Geoffroy M-C, Cote SM, Parent S, and Seguin JR. 2006. Daycare attendance, stress, and mental health. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 51: 607-615.
Gopnick A, Meltzoff AN, and Kuhl PK. 1999. The scientist in the crib. New York: Morrow.
Hart CH, DeWolf DM, Wozniak P and Burts DC. 1992. Maternal and paternal disciplinary styles: Relationships with preschoolers’ playground behavioral orientations and peer status. Child Development 63: 879-892.
Hrdy SB. 2005. Comes the child before the man: How cooperative breeding and prolonged postweaning dependence shaped human potential. In BS Hewlett and SE Lamb (eds), Hunter-gatherer childhoods: Evolutionary, developmental and cultural perspectives. New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction publishers.
Konner M.2005. Hunter-gatherer infancy and childhood: The !Kung and others. In BS Hewlett and SE Lamb (eds), Hunter-gatherer childhoods: Evolutionary, developmental and cultural perspectives. New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction publishers.
Legendre A. 2003. Environmental features influencing toddlers’ bioemotional reactions in day care centers. Environ Behavior 35: 523-49.
Loeb S, Bridges M, Bassok D, Fuller B, and Rumberger, Russ. 2005. How Much is Too Much? The Influence of Preschool Centers on Children’s Development Nationwide. Presentation at the Association for Policy Analysis and Management. Washington, D.C. – November 4, 2005
National institute of child health and human development early child care research network (2003). Does amount of time spent in child care predict socio-emotional adjustment during the transition to kindergarten? Child Development, 74: 976-1005.
ResearchWorks. 2005. How young children manage stress: Looking for links between temperament and experience. University of Minnesota website. (visited on December 31, 2006).
Sapolsky R. 2004. Why Zebras don’t get ulcers: An Updated Guide To Stress, Stress Related Diseases, and Coping, third edition. New York: Henry Holt and Company.
Seerbo AS and Kolko DJ. 1994. Salivary testosterone and cortisol in disruptive children: relationship to aggressive, hyperactive, and internalizing behaviors. Journal of American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Watamura, S. E., Sebanc, A. M., & Gunnar, M. R. (2002). Naptime at child care: Effects on salivary cortisol levels. Developmental Psychobiology, 40, 33-42.

Healthy Living

What the Bible Says About Healthy Living: Three Biblical Principles That Will Change Your Diet and Improve Your Health

What is socialisation?

Many of us assume that socialising means meeting our peers and just talking or playing together. In actual fact, it is that and more. These researches shows what socialisation is.

Socialization is the process of introducing an uninitiated member of society to the norms and habits of the society he is to be part of. For example, if you were to go to a foreign country with a culture different from your own and if you wish to be accepted, you would need to be socialized and taught how to behave in that society.

In this case, your child is a young member of the greater society you, as a parent, are already part of. It is your responsibility, as the child’s first and immediate contact with the world, to afford him/her the ways to learn how to behave properly.

Given this viewpoint, consider the kind of “socialization” that takes place in a traditional school environment. Children are grouped by age and are cooped up in a room for 6 to 7 hours. Time spent away from the classroom is usually only an hour long. The kind of contact they have with adults is confined to the kind of teachers that surround them. More often than not, performance is driven by trying to keep up or outdoing the other kid or team.

Of course, the above picture does sound extreme. But then again, you must also ask yourself: does that description truly reflect the society you are part of? Would you consider that environment suitable in teaching your child how to function as a member of society?

On the flipside, consider the home school environment. Children are in constant interaction with people of and outside their age groups. They have greater freedom to go outside and explore. Their performance is based on discovering their own capabilities and achieving their personal best. More The SocialisationIssue

Research conducted by Michael Brady entitled Social Development in Traditionally Schooled and Homseschooled Children, a Case for Increased Parental Monitoring and Decreased Peer Interaction endorses this idea. Brady states, "There seems to be an overwhelming amount of evidence that children socialized in a peer-dominant environment are at higher risk for developing social maladjustment issues than those that are socialized in a parent monitored environment."

In other words, socialization in homeschooling works better because children have more opportunities to be socialized through the modeling of good social behavior by caring adults rather than through peers, who do not know much more than they do. Parents give their kids the skills they need to interact with other people and also have the chance to protect their children.

So, the big question in homeschooling socialization is "Who do we want them learning life skills from? Caring adults, or peers who don't know any more than they do?" More What about socialisation

Familylobby.com“Home-schooled children are painfully shy.” There are shy children no matter where you look. Public and private schools are filled with children who aren’t overly social: a personal character trait that has little, if anything, to do with education. Most home-schooled children have more than enough social skills to interact with other people of all ages and backgrounds without any major issues.

In Current issue analysis: Thomas Smedley prepared a master's thesis for Radford University of Virginia on "The Socialization of Homeschool Children." Smedley used the Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scales to evaluate the social maturity of twenty home-schooled children and thirteen demographically matched public school children. The communication skills, socialization, and daily living skills were evaluated. These scores were combined into the "Adoptive Behavior Composite" which reflects the general maturity of each subject.

Smedley had this information processed using the statistical program for the social sciences and the results demonstrated that the home-schooled children were better socialized and more mature than the children in the public school. The home-schooled children scored in the 84th percentile while the matched sample of public school children only scored in the 27th percentile.

Smedley further found that:

In the public school system, children are socialized horizontally, and temporarily, into conformity with their immediate peers. Home educators seek to socialize their children vertically, toward responsibility, service, and adulthood, with an eye on eternity.
Is there a way to teach compassion, kindness, organisational skills and relating to people of all ages. Check this out! CCS Kids Care Club

Back up Plan

Kinda craving for movie nowadays, and caught this recently. I love romance comedy, stuff that is not real, but makes you laugh and cry at the same time. Didnt expect anything about this movie as it was a little last minute. BUT it turned out really funny! I laughed so loud.

Alex O'Loughlin was no hunk, but I liked that he was playful and exciting.

Enjoyed having this fabulous me-time. I discovered I could make things happen if I wanted to and it is freedom without always expecting others to do something nice for us. And being a mum doesnt mean I can't watch a romantic movie spontaneously, receive flowers, go shopping, go for spa, eat at cosy places, hang out with friends, chit chats, all without my husband & kids! Yep... Happy loving me day! *wide grin* So bye bye old me, welcome, spunky new me!