we are like a moon

I learnt something powerful yesterday... "Like a moon, all human beings have a dark side, if we ignore it, it will overcome us. However if we own up to it and let God in, he will overcome it."

David's niece and I - trying to have a quiet corner to ourselves. I don't think anyone would believe us.  

Last nite in Jakarta, 5 Jan 05 - celebrated with David's sister's family & kid. Who can resist this mouth-watering, earth-shattering ice-cream? Yummy! 

Day 4 - On our way home. We saw a strange thing in the sky! 

Back to Jakarta - in David's house. I was particularly drawn to the window grilles. I thot they looked beautiful? can't quite put my finger on the influence of this design though. 

Day 3 - Dinner. Can you guess how much this plate cost? You'd never have guessed! only S$7. Succulent beef. ooooh, what can I say?  

Day 3 - West Java. Looks like heaven isn't it? Actually we were at the crater of an dormant volcana. There was a breeze and the thick fog came straight at us. And if you think we look cool, we were actually freezing cold. But for the sake of picture perfect, no jackets! We are crazeeee!!!! 

and of course we can't resist taking a pic together! Seems like when we get older, we tend to like quieter places or rather a place where nothing seems to move very much!  

we arrived at this absolutely tranquil place. It was so beautiful & the air was so cool. I wish i could fall asleep right in the middle of the very Lush greeneries... hmmm... 

looking for something? 

on holiday in Jakarta 27 Dec 05 - trying to find strawberries is always a delight! 

resolution 10yrs ago!

Can't believe how time flies! I drew this 10yrs ago... I was only sweet 21. I remembered pondering about life really seriously. Many things in life were so temporal, it didn't give me fulfillment. It was like chasing after the wind. Then I gave my life back to Jesus. I remembered I used to wear boots and short skirts to church but then I found it hard to kneel when God touched my heart! Then the first thing that went was my wardrobe of crazy clothes. I remembered during then, that when God touched my heart with his acceptance and unconditional love, I literally bawled my eyes out in the public, yes in church full of people. His love was so beautiful and so comforting. I didn't care if I looked ok or not. His love was so overwhelming, it wasnt necessary for me to put up any front at all. I felt so liberated. Like the deep gut feeling of being set free.

10 yrs on... entering into 2006 my passion for him increased, he has brought me through valley-lows and mountain-top highs. I am indeed exceedingly bless to have a friend in Jesus. This page is dedicated to my beloved saviour, because of him, my life has never been the same. His truth has set me free indeed. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, the life!" My new resolution in 2006? Love his word, speak his word, love his people, love him, love him, love him. I love you Jesus!

Caught in last minute gift giving?

thot this delightful gift my colleague gave aptly brought out the following:ago!

Caught in last minute gift giving?
Good for you if you receive when you least expect.
Christmas is a time rightly laden with surprises;
The Lord Jesus came as a babe;
surprise surprise, a babe saves our lives!

Yet, in the merry making of sorts;
Even with shopping and commercialization of all thoughts;
It is a wonder Gift giving never ceased even in this pagan world in the everyday life we fought.

If you are caught in a last minute giving;
Fret not, don’t grab a gift in the need to give;
Stop & Spare a thought;
for the receiver at the other end must really be your special VIP, worthy of your thought!

For the word says that a gift is meant to be,
to usher in the presence of our Lord,
his love we know it is meant for all.

so take time to say a prayer ,
and ask Jesus to show you what gift it is to be;
For a gift given out of a heart is better,
Than a gift that needs to be

Why since Jesus is the gift that keeps giving;
We know we haven’t given til we’ve given him;

A true gift lies but in the heart and not out of our hands;
So now we know, that we can all give, if we are ever caught,
In a last minute giving of any sort!!!

God loved the world, he sent Jesus!

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he sent his only son, so that whoever believed in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

What is Christmas without the birth of Jesus? Why do people give gifts during Christmas?
Who on earth is Jesus? Why is the entire world celebrating his birthday? Who is God?
Why did he sent Jesus? Can I experience his true love? Would I experience his true love?

Christmas - if we didn't drink ourselves silly, shop till we drop, or party till the sun goes down, perhaps... the space that we all craved in a time-starved city of non-stop activities and trivial pursuits, will allow us to ponder... question and evaluate the value of life more...

May you experience a truly meaningful Christmas...

Just a little bit of Christmas

this yr, our family had a smallish gathering at the four seasons for a sumptuous Festive buffet. There was so much food, we had no room for cakes!!! urgh. What a loss! so 2 days later... after everything digested, i got a log cake from Bangawan solo for only 27 Bucks . Our family ate to our hearts' content. Moral of the story: buffets are only for the gifted few... Hmmm... like my hubby...;p

Christmas & Love

Every Christmas I seemed to be hurrying LOVE. I love selecting gifts, the wrapping, the giving and all that. For the most part, I LOVE what I am doing, but everything is done in a hurry.

Last year, I had fun decorating up the house for party with friends. Then I flew to Australia with my hubby to spend it with my brother & mum. Everything was done in a hurry but things slowed down at down under. It was nice, except for the heat that didn't quite fit into the Christmas mood. Christmas dinner was home-cooked meal seated on the floor in a little modest rented apartment. There were no Christmas tree, but a bright hand-made star that hung at the glass window. My brother & mum got 2 coloured wig to welcome my hubby & me when we arrived on Christmas Day. We looked like 2 clowns celebrating Christmas with them. It was a funny sight indeed, but boy, did we have fun!

As one cannot hurry love in no form of persuasion or the speeding up of the development of love, many people cannot help but still hurry in the maddening pace of life.

But in that hurriedness of everyday life, there cannot be LOVE. I was more prepared this year. I got the Christmas cards early. In fact i got it on boxing Day 2004. It was the best time to get stuff when everything is on sale. I got Christmas gifts early this yr as well and finished writing "LOVE notes" on every cards. For those I do not get to see nor do I have their home address, there're always electronic cards we can "pre prepare".

In my unhurriedness, I seem to feel Christmas in my heart alot earlier. The familiar Christmas songs that ranges from funk to jazzy R&B ones to soulful chorals, Christmas trees that dazzles at every corners from downtown to neighourhood shopping malls. The well known Orchard Road, a signature of Singapore's yearly effort in making sure that no one forgets Christmas, dresses every lamp posts and roadsignages with as much glitter & glamour & enough lightbulbs to wake a sleeping baby. churches and caregroups round the world are not losing out, events and to-do lists piles up in an effort geared towards spreading the good news in this season of LOVE. Everything seem to strike such nostalgic notes in my heart. I thought about LOVE somemore.

I thought about who I LOVE, and those I don't. I thought about who LOVE me and those who don't. For the most part, I felt saddened. I wasnt sure if I was feeling melancholic, in self-pity or guilt, for the number of whom I don't quite LOVE was alarming. I was also equally concerned with those who I was quite sure did not LOVE me.

There is such a need for our hearts to be LOVED and to LOVE. I was blessed this year especially when God sent me true friends. I would proudly name them, for the LOVE they have given me had brought me so much so much comfort & joy. Angela, Kate, & Michelle. God also sent me a new friend & his family from Oregon who LOVE God so much. I was full of surprise & joy at what God could do! My keyboard coach & mentor, Andrea & her entire team at BelieverMusic blessed me tremendously with music, their hearts for God and people, their selfless dedication for discipleship & their immense encouragement is a testimony of God's miracle in my life! Through them, I experienced tremendous grace & LOVE outflowing from the heart of our heavenly father. And last, but not least, my family; my mum who chipped in to help with my Christmas props , her tireless preparation of dinner when i ran out of stamina from work, My brother who spent time hanging out when he was back for holiday & my husband whose gentleness & unwavering LOVE gave me the strength & encouragement to be more Christ-like.I count my blessings for the many lives who stood by me, believed me & accepted me in spite of my flaws. This, in the whole year's experiences summed up, is what make the coming Christmas worthwhile. The true spirit of Christmas, the essence of LOVE manifested through the birth of Jesus Christ.

For the many lives untouched by LOVE I pray God becomes real to them this Christmas. For the part of my heart, still fleshly & unmoved by LOVE, I pray God change me. I often wondered if it is possible that we live in a world where pure LOVE simply oozes out of every human being. I learnt the hard way that it is not to be so, at least in this time. But it is in God, who had first LOVED the world, that he sent his only son to die for us, that I found the courage and hence the hope to live & to discard that ideal and move on. To yearn for a perfect life is either one of foolishness or of escapism. God is not merciless. To help us survive through the rumble & tumble of life, he threw us yet another life-line. He exhorts us to LOVE him, and in so being we become filled with his LOVE, and then are able to LOVE others again.

This Christmas, I choose LOVE. An unhurried time to learn to LOVE those I have yet to LOVE.
John 3:16 "For God so LOVED the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

May the immeasurable LOVE of Jesus bless you as you prepare your hearts for a meaningful Christmas 2005!

Today is like any one day

The cleaning aunty told me today that she will be feeding the pet tortises and fishes with some biscuits that was thrown away by some staff.

Just 2 wks back she was pouring away coffee & tea, that were unfinished by some visitors and mumbled about the waste. I thought of how I might many times I waste too. I waste time – doing stuff that wasn’t neccessary, I waste money - giving in to impulses, I waste words by speaking unnecessarily etc. but there is one thing I know never goes to waste.

When I am grateful, I tell God. When I am fearful, I tell God. When I am sad, I tell God.
I think my most urgent prayers this year was for surgery. I could have prayed a thousand and one times, while going to bed, while traveling, while on the dentist chair, or while on the operation bed. It was a comfort knowing God never waste my prayer no matter how many times I go to him, and that is how our wonderful father is.

The cleaning aunty was so conscientious about her responsibility. And then it dawned on me that at least I know for sure forfeiting one day of our holiday and paying $10 penalty for that will also not go to waste. My husband & I figured that God is worth more than the beautiful holiday that we are going. It means giving up 1 day & 1 nite for God's presence ; it also means that even when others spend 3 days 2 nite & we only spent 1 day & 1 nite, it is still not a wasted trip. It means God is worth it, even when it cost.

"One day in the house of God is better than a thousand days in the world" came alive for us today. We are going for church prayer meeting tomorrow nite with the rest of our family church. :)

Giraffes

A friend gave us a little card with a gift when their grp came over to our place for caregroup.I haven't watched a cartoon for some time, and in many ways i found this really cute. This pair of giraffes resembles my husband & me in many ways. We are less than ordinary folks, not perfect, often spotty in our characters, we get into fights but we always make up. I didn't know Giraffes walk on twos, but sometimes it is like that with us. We don't care if we look gawky, because we are so in love with one another. But most important of all, no matter what it takes, we always walk together, always in the same direction. Love - It is a many splendid thing.

The RM$2.50 shorts

i just drenched myself in cold water, fully clothed. I wore this because he told me we'll go out together. he left early tis morning to study somewhere quiet. I did my stuff, read the papers, worshipped God on my keyboard, read some magazines, and napped. He lives a strict rostered life, i am slotted somewhere too. Yesterday i was really mad, i never got no dates, no flowers for a long time. I had to adhere to his strict time-table. he showed up at my workplace with a bunch of flowers. I felt sorry for him, he was so tired. But i wasn't looking for flowers. I was looking for a change in lifestyle. I wish I could support his studies, he is very gifted in it, but i have not strength to do it. Its difficult being a good wife.

he told me he'll have to come home 1 hr later. I felt so boxed-up, i couldnt explain. i love him. I told him on the train that he needs to sleep before 12am today so that he wouldnt get sick. He said no. i was upset. He made me worry all the time. he told me he is all grown up, he is leading the family and he will make the decision. i asked him if that means i don't play a part in the family. He didnt answer me. Then he said i shouldnt give him that face and make him feel guilty. he said he made an effort to spend time with me and want us to be happy. He said he will sleep before 12. i wanted to know if leading the family means i don't play a part. we didnt go anywhere in the end. we dropped off his library books together and went home without saying a word through the whole journey. We brushed our teeth silently. I got into the shower. He got into bed. It was 10pm. I only wear this RM$2.50 shorts on special occassion becuz the dye would come off in the wash. i handwashed the shorts and hung it up to dry.

I wish I knew

picture taken in HongKong, in a garden of a chapel

wishing that the falling star will give me a sign
Through torrential rain and rocky paths
I wish I knew if I was indeed on the right path

Where whispers of promises meet assurance of love
I wish I knew if this is indeed my kiros time

A willing heart and an attempted wait
Whether it was kneeling or listening
I wish I knew if this is indeed what I need

distance meets time
You are there at the deepest ocean
You are there in the widest of all skies
You are lord God you made them and is above them all

You alone holds our future
You alone holds our time
You alone knows the unknown

like grass we will all fade away
like flowers our lives so fragile

Wishing that the falling star will give me a sign
Through mountain tops and valleys low
I wish I knew if I was indeed on the right path

Where whispers of promises meet assurance of love
I wish I knew if this is indeed my kiros time

Lord, speak to your servant
Open my eyes,
our lives so fragile and so in need of guidance from you

you hold the spans of oceans
you weigh the nations on a scale
though we as grass may one day fade away
envelope us with your love
do not forget us Lord
we are your servants