When kids slide. Backwards.

There were such times families with young kids thrive on routine. Not a slavish sort but one that is filled with expectation; putting the main thing the main thing. Worship, meal times, reading times, play times etc.

Once or twice every year, I would discover that kids slide backwards. It happens when routine is thrown of out of the window either via a holiday or when relatives spends extended time with the kids.

We had been on countless holidays and each time routine goes, their boundaries goes.

We felt that it is impossible to pre-empt every situation and expect a kid to know that 6 switches lined up in a row (in a hotel room) is not a toy, cuz we never had that at home!
And to make things worse, you have two boys (wired like boys, if you know what I mean) fighting to flick switches at every single opportunity. Talk about a holiday. Yeah, that's right, I think they ARE having fun.

The last time this happened was at at Turi Beach Resort, Batam, last month. Our two year-old was having too much fun with the switches flicking on then off, and on then off, while my four year-old was trying to figure out which switch does what. Both motivations were not wrong. But we had an obligation to be good steward of a property that does not belong to us as well. Then they started to fight because there were only 6 switches and you are darn right 6 switches were not enough for 2 boys!

Anyways, long story short. I sat down in one of the many pry-them-apart-and-make-sure -no-casualty sessions and taught them to take turns, to speak kindly and to discuss. And everyone had to stop flicking switches after a certain lights are turned-on etc. You know, one of those really complex conversation that could turn a simple request into fist fights. So, parents, take heed, it is better stick around when they are doing that.

Well, I figured, after two children. Let's just enjoy the process. :) Possible? completely!

Day to day obedience; I have found that what really undergird these unpredictable moments were the day to day obedience that we take them through, complete with consequence which disobedience brings. They would be tested how quick they are able to submit now that they are out of their comfort zone, or should I say our comfort zone. Interesting how it works both ways! They will get into hairy situations and they will most probably make our holiday very interesting, but they will also learn that we are still their very loving parents, even on a holiday. :)

Trust us, resourceful parents to find any corner so that we can have the child stand and discipline if needed. It is hard to withdraw a privilege during a holiday especially when we came especially for it, so don't even try. However, we found some things really helped.

Instill quiet time or sit-down time; These help young kids get a hold of their self-control. Quiet moments help them focus and practise being still. We like quiet scenic/sun-sand-sea type of holidays, so that provides excellent opportunity to sit and watch and speak of the awesome beauty God created. We could also bring some sit-down toys along - manipulative, puzzles, card games (Family, Uno, tic-tac-toe, Poker Cards etc). Gather pebbles, sea shells, leaves for counting, patterning etc. Bring a few books along, or activity books and papers, crayons for doddling while waiting or quiet play.

Slot in a routine anyway; some predictability gives security for young kids. Continue doing some things we do everyday. First thing we rise, it could be reading the Bible, singing a few worship songs or praying together. Reading some books after every meal, poems, rhymes. Invent games or play "I spy" in various ways in long car trips. Thanking God at the end of the day together. Practice small doses of reflection everyday with the family if possible.

Reminders. Do this practically every morning but especially during holiday when boundaries are often unclear; Remind the children that we love them and want the best for them. Relationship above rules.

Last, but not least; remember I mentioned it works both ways?

Practise joy being with our children daily, not just when we are beside them, or driving them.

Practise allowing the holy spirit to instill spirit of self-control daily.

Practise imparting wisdom into different situations daily.

Then go for a holiday! When kids are tested so are we. Only be sure that when our kids slide backwards, we are there to help them slide back. Some re-training once on home base may be necessary but it is always do-able. 3 steps forward, 1 step back!

Have fun!